Feeling Our Feelings: How to Know When It's Real

Hey there :) Today, we’re diving into a question I get all the time: "How do I feel my feelings?" It sounds simple, right? But if it were that easy, we’d all be emotional ninjas. Spoiler alert: Most of us are more like emotional toddlers, fumbling around and occasionally having a meltdown in the grocery store.

So, how do we know when we're truly feeling our feelings versus avoiding them? Let's break it down.

Understanding Emotional Avoidance

First things first, let’s talk about avoiding our feelings. Avoidance can be sneaky. It doesn’t always look like denial; sometimes it shows up as being *too* busy, always needing to be productive, or even convincing ourselves that we’re “fine” when we’re clearly not. Here’s the kicker: avoiding our feelings can lead to both physical and mental health issues. Think headaches, chronic pain, anxiety, depression – the works.

Ways to Actually Feel Your Feelings

1. Notice Physical Sensations: Pay attention to your body. When you’re feeling something intense, close your eyes and do a quick scan from head to toe. Where are you holding tension? Is your heart racing? Are your shoulders creeping up to your ears? Just notice without judgment.

2. Journal It Out: Grab a notebook and start writing. Describe what happened, how you felt, and any physical sensations you noticed. Don’t worry about grammar or making sense. This is for you, not for a Pulitzer Prize.

3. Get Moving: Physical activity can help you connect with your emotions. Go for a walk, dance around your living room, or try some gentle yoga. Movement helps release those stuck emotions and brings clarity.

4. Talk It Out: Sometimes, we need to verbalize our feelings to truly understand them. Find a trusted friend, family member, or therapist (hey, that’s me!) and let it all out. Talking helps process and release emotions.

5. Mindfulness and Meditation: Spend a few minutes each day being still and tuning into your inner world. Notice what emotions come up without trying to change them. Just be present with whatever arises.

Extra tip for stuck emotions: Sometimes, an emotion feels stuck. It's that nagging feeling you can't shake, no matter how hard you try to distract yourself. Acknowledging these stuck emotions instead of pushing them away is a key step in truly feeling your feelings.

Feeling your feelings is like flexing a muscle – it gets stronger with practice. And remember, it’s okay to ask for help. Admitting you might need a hand isn't just brave; it's downright rebellious. And I’m all for a bit of rebellion.

Until next time, keep feeling those feels and know that you’ve got this.

Catch you soon,

Annalise John