Life is Too Short to Follow Someone Else’s Rules

In light of Chief's Kicker's commencement speech( I honestly don’t care enough to remember his name), I've been reflecting on expectations—those placed on women, young people, and humans in general. While listening to a book-on-tape (old-school talk for audiobooks), a line struck me:

“Life is too short to miss out on anything because of an older generation’s rules.”

That line resonated with me and tied back to the speech by a man desperately clinging to an outdated set of rules.

I grew up adhering strictly to rules, raised in an incredibly restrictive religion. Even after leaving, I found myself clinging to societal rules: when to go to school, get a job, marry, if and when to start a family. If you'd asked me then, I would have said, “F*** rules.” But even as I rejected them, they lingered in my mind.

As a neuroscience nerd, I understand the why of it. The neural pathways laid down when we're young become our brain's wiring. But the amazing thing about the brain is its plasticity—we can rewire those pathways, though it takes a lot of repetition.

How deeply ingrained are the rules we have for women—what they should do and when they should do it? And how long will it take to rewire society's neural pathways?

In my therapy practice, I work primarily with young women. While many say “F*** rules” and “F*** the Chief's Kicker,” they often find themselves stuck with deeply ingrained rules, from things as big as “I should want to have kids” to as small as “I have to work out every day.”

And these rules lead only to anxiety and self doubt. Life is too short for rules to dictate it. Want to have kids? Do it, on whatever timeline feels right. Want to skip your workout today? Do it! Throw out the rule book that was created by... who even knows who.

As a therapist, I encourage you to challenge these outdated rules and create a life that aligns with your true self. Life is too short to be bound by someone else’s expectations.

With love and a healthy dose of anger,

Annalise 

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Located in Salt Lake City, Utah, and seeking mental health services? Let’s connect!

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